


Unusual Boss Ending?

by TrappedInSonder



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Cliff just wants to be a good dad, Depressing, Depression, Disturbing Themes, Gay, Higgs is just a mess, M/M, SO GAY, Sam Loves Higgs, Sam is gay for Higgs okay, Spoilers, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, love my sad boy okay, m/m - Freeform, post end of game, so gay for eachother bc they're gay, v sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:02:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22861468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrappedInSonder/pseuds/TrappedInSonder
Summary: The wind curled around him, the storm seeming to grow with every step forward he took until the wind was pushing back against him so strongly it felt like the world itself was trying to stop what was to come. One step, two steps. Three steps more and his feet were half off the edge. His body is panicking against his mind, muscles tensing as a voice in the back of his mind screamed asking what the hell he was doing voluntarily so close to danger like this. He could hear the reverse trike struggling through the mud in the distance, but it was muffled by the ringing in his ears. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned forward until his feet were off the ground
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges & Clifford Unger, Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 90





	Unusual Boss Ending?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so pls don't judge me too harshly. Hasn't been proofread 0.0. I hope you like this, this was just like, an angst dump. I promise they will be happier in the future.

Higgs' heart thudded in his chest, nerves rising in his throat. The crisp air glided through his hair, blowing the greying strands out of his face and back atop his head. The sky above him crackled in anguish, the skies an angry shade of grey, unleashing cold timefall that dampened his clothes and aged the fabrics covering his shoulders. Shaky breaths left the Homodemen, floating through the air in the cold. Glassy blue eyes studied over the large drop before him, millions of thoughts silenced in preparation for an easy way out. The ground shuffled beneath his feet, grip on the edge uneasy as the soil melted into muddy sludge beneath them, prompting the other further. In the distance, the roar of a hard-working reverse trike mounted by a desperate rider rippled through the air, but Higgs paid it little mind.

A lot had led up to this point. Life had been difficult since his return from the beach. Coming back from there was just one more mistake to add to the meter-long list of them he possessed. He wasn’t sure why he had expected anything to be different in the beginning. Why he had allowed Sam to convince him that he could finally live normally he had no clue. Perhaps it was the way he’d sympathised with him after finding that god-forsaken diary of his, or how he’d explained that he knew Amelie had tricked Higgs. Maybe it was the frightened, deer in the headlights look that has spread over the male’s face when Sam had mentioned dear old daddy again, but Sam had seemed willing to help him. A mistake. Things weren’t any easier, and they never would get easier. He went out with Sam on his deliveries but chose to stay in the car after one too many people refused their packages at the mere sight of him. That quickly began to tug at him. Having to sit in the car like a child when delivering parcels. Having to hide away from people wasn’t normal. And, although Sam had explained time and time again that Amelie had caused Higgs to act how he had and he didn’t want to be like that anymore, nothing was changing. Yet Higgs was always greeted with the same “Next time” as Sam climbed back into the delivery van, and every time next time never came.

Though he couldn’t fault Sam’s optimism. Or perhaps he was just stubborn. But, as grumpy and hard-boiled as the legendary porter acted, there was something that he saw in Higgs. Something that fueled the same rinse and repeat routine of waking the male up just to go on hopeless deliveries with the expectation of a new outcome.  
That was one of the many reasons Higgs had gotten to this point. Awkward glances and tense interactions every second of his life, hiding behind Sam and harming his reputation too. I mean, as legendary as he was, who wanted to trust someone willing to ride around with a terrorist?  
“Ex-Terrorist” Sam would always correct him in his deep, gruff grumbles, though it would go in one and out the other and be challenged with the same “That’s not how they see it”, only for the conversation to be ended by an annoyed “They will”. Higgs hadn’t figured out yet whether Sam was annoyed at him or the conversation in general, but it didn’t take him too long to figure out he should shut his mouth after those words were spoken.

So it was this, day in and day out. Every disgusted face, every prying glance, every mutter behind his back a beatdown to his mental health. Until Higgs was stood here, swaying over the edge of a cliff, staring down at the shallow pool of water below. The wind curled around him, the storm seeming to grow with every step forward he took until the wind was pushing back against him so strongly it felt like the world itself was trying to stop what was to come. One step, two steps. Three steps more and his feet were half off the edge. His body is panicking against his mind, muscles tensing as a voice in the back of his mind screamed asking what the hell he was doing voluntarily so close to danger like this. He could hear the reverse trike struggling through the mud in the distance, but it was muffled by the ringing in his ears. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned forward until his feet were off the ground and he was soaring towards the ground below. He hit the water first before hitting the floor beneath, knocking the male unconscious before he hit the floor properly.

Higgs gasped in a sharp breath, eyes snapping open. A soft warm heat fell over his body as baby blues settled on the amber skyline before him. Gentle waves rose inches away from his toes, dragging back sand into the sea. The golden sand beneath him shifted as the male moved to sit up and watch the waves on the shore. Though, soon enough, footsteps caught his attention. His ear twitched slightly as the crunch of the ground grew closer and closer until the light grew a little darker.  
“Of course you’re here, Amelie”

“You’ll be glad to hear I’m not her.”

Higgs’ gaze rose to study the figure who had moved to stand beside him, surprised that it wasn’t who he had expected.  
The male wasn’t anyone Higgs recognised. He was fairly tall, but nowhere near Higgs’ height. Taller than Sam, of course. He was fairly old, and the bags under his eyes hung heavy, which Higgs thought was strange. His skin was fairly taught, chocolate brown orbs looking down to the other. Light grey strands topped his head, though they didn’t seem greyed from timefall like Higgs’ own had. A lit cigarette leaked smoke from between worn fingertips at his side, and the male watched as it rose to tan lips and settled there.

“Should I know you?”  
Higgs muttered curiously, tilting his head. Should he stand? No, the other was bending his knees to crouch next to him before he could.

“You know of me.”  
The man responded, looking over Higgs almost disappointed before returning his steely gaze to the burning sun before him, taking a breath of the cigarette.  
“My name is Clifford Unger, and you are Higgs Monaghan, correct?”

Higgs froze a little as the name processed in his mind. Yes, he did know of him. Sam’s dad. Sam had mentioned him a few times since his return from the beach. Apparently, being sucked up in those storms had led Sam to him, and after a long-winded and dramatic discovery, Sam and he had talked briefly. Higgs would always listen intently, though it was hard to believe what he was speaking was real. I mean, it was so wild but...Obviously, Sam was right.  
Actually, now he thought about it…  
“That storm on the cliff, that was you?”

“Yes, I was trying to deter you before Samuel could get there.”  
The man responded, before putting out his cigarette in the sand before him.  
“Clearly I didn’t do good enough, but that’s why I’m here now. To convince you that this isn’t what you want.”

Higgs couldn’t help the snort that left his throat, head shaking side to side in mere disbelief. The exact words Sam had used before. ‘ Convince you that this isn’t what you want.’  
“Yeah, your son tried that, didn’t work out all too well.”

“Well, I’m not my son. Sam’s very logical. He’s been through a lot, we all have. But I’m more emotional. What I’m going to ask of you isn’t for your sake, it’s for Sam’s sake and my peace of mind.”

“Well, at least you’re not bullshittin’ me.”

“No. I’m not going to tell you that going back won’t be hard. The whole world is against you, but I’ve been there.”

Higgs frowned gently. Sam had mentioned that Clifford had lost his life protecting Sam in his arms. That everything he did, he did against the world for Sam’s sake. That was, perhaps, the only reason Higgs hadn’t gotten up and walked away already. Anyone willing to give their life to protect someone they love has his respect. After all, he’d never had anyone like that in his own life. Sam deserved more of that.

“But, I kept going and I powered through until the end. I did it for my son, Higgs. That’s what I want you to do too.”  
He lowered to sit properly besides Higgs now, one leg outstretched, the other bent, arm resting atop it as his calm gaze looked over the beach.

“Sam needs you. You may not see it but I’ve watched him. He’s got some sort of connection to you, and he doesn’t know what it is, but he wants to help you. He needs to. It’ll help him grow to build a relationship with you.”

“You got it all wrong. Sam just feels sorry for me. It isn’t some sort of dumb connection, he just feels bad that I’ve been through bad shit ‘n all.”

“No, that’s not it at all. He cares for you, in a way I haven’t seen since Lucy.”

“Lucy?”

The two fell silent for a minute, though Higgs’ thoughts were shrouded in confusion.  
“Sam’s ex-wife. She died a long time ago. She committed suicide and caused a voidout which destroyed her whole town. Sam doesn’t ever talk about her, but he carries a picture of her everywhere he goes.”

Higgs remained silent, sighing shakily. How could there be this whole other world to Sam he hadn’t known about?

“He lost her to suicide. And now, he’s losing you too.”

“Losing?”  
Higgs muttered curiously, raising an eyebrow.

“He’s sat with you, Higgs. You’re in his lap, and he’s holding you in his arms and begging for you to come back. Can’t you hear?”

Now he had mentioned it, the hum at the back of his mind had grown louder and louder until it grew into coherent words. Streams and streams of quiet pleas and reassurances that the male would be okay. It sent shivers up his spine. He’d never heard Sam so...Broken.  
He sounded so desperate. So fucking heartbroken.

“Do you see now? He needs to save you. And you need him to save you. He needs you as much as you need him. Finally someone is willing to put everything on the line for you and you take it from yourself.”

“I don’t deserve it. He deserves better.”

“No, you don’t deserve it. But he deserves what he wants, and Sam wants you. At the end of it all, you’re not the one losing anything by dying. But you burden those that surround you with the weight of your loss, and they’re left wondering what they could have possibly done better. And that will destroy Samuel, Higgs. It will tear him to shreds all over again.”

Higgs looked down at his lap, listening to Sam mutter to him. His eyes shone with tears at this point, jaw tightening as he drew shaky breaths.

“I wonder how many lives would be saved if everyone was a little more open with each other. Though, you don’t have to be open to me, Higgs. I know what you want to do.”

The older man got to his feet, the sand shifting beneath worn army boots.  
A single hand was outstretched to the seated man, out in offering.  
“Come on, Son.”

Higgs took his hand and stood, the calm wind curling around them. His grip was firm as he led Higgs towards the water. And Higgs walked willingly, Sam’s words growing louder in the back of his head. His feet slipped into the cool water and continued to walk forward as Cliff let go, watching from the shoreline. Higgs continued to walk until his head was completely submerged, and then he was suddenly pulled deep beneath the water, eyes closing as he was dragged deeper and deeper.

Another sharp gasp for breath as his head was grasped from both sides, sunlight shining into his eyes.  
“Higgs? Higgs?!”  
Sam held him close, looking into his eyes.  
“Are you with me? Stay with me, Stay awake Higgs, it’s alright. You’re alright, come on…”

Higgs’ head hurt, really hurt. But he managed to open his eyes to Sam  
He looked dishevelled and desperate, though relieved to see the other awake.

“You’re fine, Higgs. You’re alright, I got you. I got you.”


End file.
